Participation Blog - The Blog of All Blogs

This semester has flown by...I am not quite sure how we have arrived at this point, but now I am finally going to stop and think about everything that has happened.

The semester for me has been filled with a lot of thoughts and worries...mainly about the future and what I could possibly do with my life. Writing these blogs over the weeks has really helped me to be motivated to "think about my thoughts." I have known for the better part of my life that I have MANY thoughts but never really stop to think them through or what they all say about me. Though it is a slow process, I am beginning to get much better at this. I know writing blogs has helped me, and I know that this is a very important thing to get better at.

As far as clarinet improvements, there are two main ones that really have effected me and my playing this semester. The first is sound, though it is not 100 percent there yet, I believe it is getting more and more consistent every day. I think playing in ensembles and getting reminders in lessons has really helped me to notice when my sound isn't as good as it can be. It is cool when I can use my ensemble time for something like this, although when tuning is an issue it can make things a little complicated!

The second, and more recent, development is my tonguing. More specifically my tonguing of higher notes. We have recently figured a lot of things out with this, and I am so happy that it is finally coming together. But this is a more long term goal than my sound. I have to work on it EVERY DAY this summer.

Overall, I think this semester has been very insightful, and using the blogs to remind myself to think about what I am doing is quite helpful. Although I haven't been in the best of places in my head, I know I have learned a lot and started a few good long term projects.

This week has been a little clarinet- absent for me. As far as practicing alone in a practice room. I have done a lot of rehearsing (concert week) as well as rehearsals with my accompanist for my jury. We haven't had much time for this though, because her recital was yesterday. Anyway, I did a lot of listening to the Copland Sonata and I really enjoy this piece! It is a little difficult to put together with a piano though, especially when we are both unsure of the way our parts fit together. I also did a little thinking about next year and recitals and such. I know we talked about me possibly having a recital per semester, but I am not sure of what I would play. I do think this is something I would like to do though.

I have been a little scattered recently, but hopefully after today is over it will all be a bit more clear!

It's Always Something

For the past two weeks I have been dealing with insane allergies- not unlike most people. The thing I am not used to, however, is this sore throat that tagged along with my other usual symptoms. I have found that it is only painful when I wake up in the morning, and whenever I talk a lot or decide I would like to play my clarinet!

I haven't been able to play very much recently because of this, and it is a little strange because I have found myself really wanting to practice during this time. Since it is painful to play, I have found myself feeling very unhappy and unfulfilled. Not to mention anxious with juries and lessons and rehearsals with my trio and accompanist! As well as playing in wind ensemble and sectionals for that. There is a concert coming up and things are getting a bit rigorous in that department.

I really despise the feeling that is anxious. (Not quite as much as I hate feeling jealous, but they are close). This feeling to me is uncontrollable and I don't know what to do about it considering the only way I can think of is by practicing.....hence, I am in a little bit of a rut! I know I am not prepared for the lesson I am to have today at 3 o'clock, but I can't bring myself to cancel it. I don't want to cancel it! I just feel like there is so much I have to do before then end of this school year, and having lessons and talking about it really helps me.

That is what has been going on recently, and I am not a fan. There always seems to be some issue! Hopefully it clears up soon................... :)